I smell like someone else.

I'm not sure who. I turn my head and catch a whiff of sweet somebody.

It could be any one of my friends.

~

I went over to James' place. Steph was there when I showed up, and Bruce and Allison, though that wasn't surprising. Jerry showed up quickly, too, and Brian and Tash and Rosa trickled in later.

I cut vegetables in the kitchen.

I was going to bring chips and dip, but then I remember how many people in the house are trying to lose weight, so opted for assorted vegetables and the healthiest dip I could find. Not the lowest calories, but the one with the most natural ingredients.

James showed off his macadamia nut liqueur, and we all had a taste. It was divine.

I drank beer I forgot I'd left in his fridge, and we played Rock Band.

I cried 'Somebody To Love' by Queen into the microphone, set on expect, and rocked the freakin' kasba, as the kids say.

I also sung Free Fallin', which I silently dedicated to my ex, Paul.

Free fallin', mutherfucker.

~

G called. He's been calling every day since Estrella War, since I told him I'd lured another man to my bed.

I think he's feeling threatened, although it was his idea for me to play the field.

He's trying to dig his hooks in deep, and I don't have the courage to tell him his hooks are in deep enough already.

His lies are so sweet. I love to hear them.

~

"When are you coming to visit?" he asks. He's getting impatient, but he's trying to hide it, and I can tell.

I mentally run through my schedule for the next six months.

I should be traveling two out of those six months. I don't know how to tell him that for all I like him, my Europe trip takes precedence.

I have been dreaming about this trip for longer than I have been dreaming about him.

And yes, I have been dreaming about him.

~

I hugged everyone goodbye, except perhaps Tash, but I don't know her that well.

I should note: I am not a huggy person. I like physical affection as much as the next person, but I have a complicated knot of trust issues which means I'm largely nervous around people who want to get too physical too quickly.

For the most part it's not a problem, except when people insist on hugs.

Anyway.

Hugged everyone.

Now I smell like someone.

I think it's a mix of James and Rosa.

Rosa smelled sweet, like dust and vanilla. I was pressed against her on the couch.

James was on my other side. He smelled faintly like Old Spice.

I think that's who I smell like.

~

I need to sleep.

Goodnight.

.

Rosie.

Before&After