Here I sit, listening to Shawn Mullins' song 'You Mean Everything to Me' on repeat, and I wonder.

What the hell is wrong with me?

My ex, Paul, invited me to his birthday party tonight.

What ever possessed him to think I would be interested in going to his birthday party, I'll never know.

He added me on Facebook again.

I did not return the favour. He sits in my inbox, in limbo.

And if you need anything at all

All you got to do is call

And you know that I

Would drive two thousand miles

Just to show you that I care

Just to kiss your honey hair

And hold you close,

And hold you like a child--

A kiss to the cheek, temple, forehead. A hand on my hair.

I know I rose to occasion. Sighed. Stretched. Delighted in the attention.

When I woke up later, I worried and fretted.

I still worry and fret.

A hand on my hair...

I have not spoken to him since that day.

I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this.

Instead, I drink beer and try not to talk to my ex.

Life.

Right?

.

Rosie.

Before&After