Am I really all heartbroken over G, or do I just fancy I am?

Sometimes I meet people that are all 'poor me, everything sucks' and I want to slap them.

I wonder if people want to slap me.

I like to think not.

The things I vent in this diary, I rarely vent in real life. Only to those nearest and dearest.

I guess that makes you my nearest and dearest, too.

"He is just waiting for the time when you are weak again," Caitlin told me today. "You cannot be weak."

I have had some ciders, over at Mark and Kelly's place. Liquor makes me weak.

Tonight I decided that if he ever calls me again, I will answer.

I will probably yell at him, and end up crying into the receiver. All hot, wet, salty tears.

Why would I answer, then, you ask?

Because I still love the asshole.

As you have probably guessed.

But I will pretend I don't, and I will go out with Scott, and Chris, and maybe Ryan, if he actually comes to town.

And I will hold these boys, and kiss these boys, and pretend until it's real.

That's the way it works, right?

RIGHT?

.

Rosie.

Before&After