I should not be allowed to listen to sad love songs on my own, late at night. I think there should be a law passed that says I'm not allowed to do that.
It just makes me melancholy, which I kind of enjoy, and kind of hate.
The words, the music, dredges up old feelings, sometimes that I like to dwell in, some that I don't enjoy so much.
But I believe in a large amount of introspection. How can one know oneself without introspection?
I think artists know themselves possibly better than other people, because they spend so much time hunting and fighting their demons, looking into their deepest shadows.
My eyes are dry. Why are my eyes so dry? Like, sticky dry.
I am listening to this song on repeat:
It makes me sick, it's so beautiful.
It reminds me too much of G.
In case you're wondering, that part in my heart is still numb. Full, and cold, and numb.
I need to get the hell out of this province.
Why are people proud to be hicks and rednecks? In the bad sense of the word?
I don't understand it.
I do not wish to live in a ghetto. I do not wish to be uneducated, and shoot random things with guns, and wear camo all the time.
I want to read. I want to absorb words. I want to see the sun rise over every continent in the world. I want to work in a hundred more theatres. I want to have a rediculously large budget for my projects.
I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's alright.