I must be careful, be careful not to get possessive. Being possessive is not a Good Thing.

I'm not really, though, I'm just...obsessed. Slightly. Not badly.

No, more like infatuated.

I don't stalk, I try not to, but I always must be careful.

Smothering is a Bad Thing, to be sure.

Everybody needs their personal space.

Must let him come to me half the time, get it even.

Even.

A comprimising relationship. Always that.

Sometimes I feel like I'm smothering, but I want to be with him so badly. But I won't smother, and musn't. I keep back when I've made the moves too frequently.

If he makes a move, then I can make a move.

Only then.

But that's the idea, isn't it? I mean, comprimise. Comprimise is the key, the key to everything...the key to peace, the key to love, the key to happiness...Comprimise on both parts.

I must be careful not to hurt, not to mock viciously or smother.

All these things will doom, and I don't want to bring about my own demise.

Sometimes I think about why I want to be with him still.

Sometimes it's stupid things like "I need someone to travel with, because it's safe" and "Being lonely sucks ass" and "I want to break Colleen's record"...

But not often. Mostly it's "He cheers me up when I'm depressed" and "He phones me up of his own free will" and "He doesn't like fighting" and "He's incredibly sexy" and "He's so different than me, so interesting" and "He makes me laugh and smile, even after a fight with my parental units" and "He's not jealous" and "He doesn't guilt trip me" and "He's a realist" and "He cares".

Oh, and "He'll climb trees and roll down hills with me, because he wants to not because I want him to".

I must be careful to keep these beautiful things, this beautiful person.

It's hard, you know, but not often. But right now, I've seen him every day for the past few days, so I must back off a little. Let him move and breath.

That's what I'd want if it were him.

Amore ergo morte, mes amies.

.

Rosie.

Before&After