Just got to remember to breath.

This college, some parts are the most painful emotional experiences.

To be denied audition.

Not to be able to test my abilities next to those of other actors.

I suppose I could go try out, but I wouldn't get cast. In fact, I wouldn't get a second glance, not because I lack in talent, but because I'm not an acting student. A mere title, a handful of classes, and I'm forced off the stage and into the shadows.

Not that I mind *too* much. I mean, I like backstage, but I'm passionate about acting.

It really, really hurts to hear my roommates talking about auditions, and what songs they're going to sing, etc. etc. etc.

It aches, and digs at the wound that's already there, that I'm not good enough for those schools, that I'm just not good enough.

It's painful, you know, almost, if not as painful as being seperated from Mike.

I miss him with a dull crying ache in my chest. I just know something is missing. I thought about suggesting we date other people while we're seperated, but then I realized (as I eyed a particular male who was my type) I didn't want to date anyone else. I just wasn't tempted. I didn't even want to kiss anyone else (and normally it's not a problem for either of us), because I missed Mike so badly.

It's strange, it's weird.

It hurts.

.

Rosie.

Before&After