I'm tired and grouchy.

I got really frustrated at Crispin, one of my classmates and the assisstant stage manager for Footloose, today because he kept giving us conflicting instructions. It was really frustrating.

Jaclyn, my roommate, just came in and talked about how incompetant the running crew is.

Hmmm.

I'm on running crew.

She's not too bright sometimes. And she grates me the wrong way....not that there's really a right way, just a less wrong way.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of being here. I'm tired of people. I've disicovered I live better with less contact with other people.

Don't get me wrong. I like other people fine, but I'm not very good at being social. That's also why I'm not a very big party person.

I'm tired of being in Red Deer. I'm tired of college. I'm tired of being a tech. I thrive on approval, and the most I get is from Carrie, my painting teacher.

I'm used to an *audience*.

I'm used to being recognized, if not known.

I'm used to being a small town minor celebrity.

Just a minor one, though. I'm used to being recognized in the circles that I run in.

I'm used to people laughing and not thinking twice about me.

And I like that.

I like being a temporary source of amusement.

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere here. I'm just way out of place, and it's getting me down. I hate having to watch the actors all night, wishing I was up there on stage with them.

I wish, I wish.

I don't know why I didn't get into the program, but I'll find out tomorrow afternoon.

Aparently I can get my audition feed back from my audition for the program.

Keifer, one of the actors who's always in our apartment, ran up to me today.

"Rosierosierosierosie! I had an epiphany today!"

"What was your epiphany, Keifer?"

"Well, you know how you applied to both the tech program and the acting program?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I've seen some of your work, and I was thinking that maybe you didn't get accepted into the acting program because the tech people called down to the acting people and said 'Yo! We want her! Reject her!'"

"...Yeah, I guess it's *possible*...Though not very likely."

"But you never know!"

"True. Who knows."

It was pretty funny.

.

Rosie.

Before&After