I've gotten a severe social overdose.

It hasn't happened in a while, but now it has.

Because everyone was in town, because everyone had the time, because everyone hadn't seen me in so long.

I must have seen two dozen people I haven't seen in ages.

And my ears are ringing with shrill laughter and I'm sore from running and hugging so much.

I'm tired, so tired. It's hard being me, sometimes, because I thrive on human contact and still I don't want to have anything to do with them. I feed off an audience but I like solitude more than anything.

It's good being a convenience store clerk because there's a constant flow of people, in and out, swelling and receding, and I don't have to know any of them, but I can feed off their emotions.

Silently I feed as they count out their dimes, sucking in their depression, their happiness, their smiles and polite murmurs.

It's what keeps me alive, sometimes, and sane.

Being out of school is weird. My tolerance for people has dropped and my temper has become quicker and I've become more dependant on Mike to...

...to what? To keep me sane? To take all my problems?

I talk to him way more now that I have no one else to talk to.

But in talking so much we get in to dissagreements sometimes, and sometimes I tell him things I probably shouldn't, but I just have to say them. I've never been one to keep my opinions to myself.

And I'm worried, worried that the Lip Sync preview will clash with the Shakespeare rehursel, and that will clash with work, because I need the hours so much. Maybe I can move my days. Maybe.

Laura went into a biology rant about how stress can physically change you, and cause you gas.

I think I may start walking across the bridge to Amanda's Restaurant to have a cup of tea every now and then. It's a good walk. Normally I just walk to the Mohawk.

I don't deal with stress very well. I just go silent and serious and testy.

And right now I'm silent and serious and testy.

I really hope it all works out.

I had a dream I tried out for the summer play and all I got was a no line chorus part. And that stressed me out. Because I so desperately want to get a bigger part.

Peter Pan.

Well, there's not much else I can do besides cross my fingers and do a killer audition.

.

Rosie.

Before&After