Fuckit all!

Okay. So now I seem to be getting support and lectures from all over because of this guy.

He's doing okay, though. He's getting the help he needs. He's staying at the hospital right now, under watch.

But I keep getting (neatly disguised) lectures on how I should have told someone.

And I *should* have. I know that now.

But how do you approach someone about it?

"So-and-so is going to off themselves, ma'am."

I would have felt so guilty about breaking the promise I should have never gave, but he sounded so scared, I had to do something to ease him just a little bit.

Linda, the stage manager, just had a little talk with me. She said a lot of words without actually saying anything.

That bugs me.

I was okay before she talked to me, now I feel like crying.

I don't really feel like gonig to councilling, but I feel like I probably should. But I think they'd just reinforce the point that I should have told someone, when all I really need to hear is:

"It's going to be all right."

Because that tinge of guilt is my cankering sore, and I don't need no goddamn counciller pressing on it.

I just feel like they're looking for someone to blame, something that went wrong, and my two strips of medical tape and two hours of silence are that wrong doing that made everything go bad.

Fuck.

That boy was clinically depressed before he met me.

Not to mention that since he was comfortable in letting me help (well, as comfortable as is able) him tape, he would definately have told his girlfriend (which he did, and she told the Commisionaires and he was on suicide watch), and Jess, which he did, and she was one of the major factors in getting him help.

Why do I still feel guilty, then?

I think I only feel guilty because I've more or less been told I should be.

Fucking people.

I can't wait to get home.

These people are fucking crazy.

.

Rosie.

Before&After