I just had the coolest dream EVER.

It had everything. Thrills, excitement, sex. I mean, come on!

My dream:

I was a robot. That's right. A robot. But I was a very sofisticated robot. In fact, looked and felt human, with feelings and sensations and what not, but I knew I was a robot. For one, my heart didn't go: Boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom, like a human heart. It went boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom.

Anyway, I was working at a stall in a mall. I sold strings of semi-precious beads and pearls and other little nick-knacks. The only person I recognized who came to my stall was Malaika. She came by with a group of other girls pretty regularely.

There was a security guard named Max. Well, I named him Max after I woke up, because it seemed appropriate.

He looked like a young Sean Connery, but hotter. By young I mean around thirty.

I might mention that impersonating a human was illegal, punishment by deactivation. I was very nervous, but I was the most sophisticated robot I'd ever seen, so after a long time I'd finally relaxed into my job and my life as a 'human'.

I'm not entirely sure how, but a wire in my lower back malfunctioned. I couldn't reach it, so I couldn't fix it, and I couldn't let anyone know I was a robot, or they'd deactivate me.

I became more and more paranoid, and I was sweating, and shaking, and more nervous than before. I stopped doing normal 'human' things, and hid out in this giant complex.

Something happened, and I ended up choking this man almost to death. Not quite, though. I was caught, then. One of the guards was Max. I was tried quickly (you don't need a long trial for a robot) and sentanced for deactivation.

Max was in charge of my deactivation. Now that I think about it, he must have been the head of security or something, because he had a lot of privacy, and numerous rooms which he called his office. Anyway, he took me into his office, and sat me down, straddling a bench. He sat down behind me, and got me to pull off my shirt and lean over so he could get at the wires in my back.

I didn't really understand, because he was supposed to have been disactivating me, which I think was done in the heart plate or the head plate.

Anyway, he opened up the plate in my lower back (my skin was PlastiSkin, which would allow my plates to open for maintenance, and then seal up and look and feel like normal skin) and there was a row of thin red wires, all curving out.

He pulled out five or so, and they just clicked out, the connecter ends dangling. I immediately felt better, but I was lethargic and tired all of a sudden, and my brain wasn't working quite right.

He watched as I drooped, more as a scientist, than an executioner. Then he plugged all five in, and my symptoms returned, but I could think again. He pulled each of the wires out one at a time until he found the malfunctioning one. It wasn't a major wire, so I could funtion without it.

There was something incredibly sexy about being fixed by this man, especially when I thought I was facing death.

I remember his breath hot on my ear as he closed my back plate.

Anyway, things led to things and lust led to...well, you know. He wasn't really supposed to have sex with a robot, but that didn't seem to bother either of us at the time.

Afterwards, I went to another room of his offices, and there were the bunch of girls (including Malaika) who had come to my booth before. They were laughing and talking.

They called me over. They were playing a game, called 'Guess the Robot'. They had to guess which one of them was a robot, and that person would lift their shirt, revealing the truth.

They'd been playing for a little already, I could tell. I walked in just before Malaika's turn.

Now, you must understand, I thought Malaika was human.

She laughed, and pulled up her shirt. She was an older model, and had a clear plate in her chest that showed her heart for easy maintenance. It was an odd, double bubble-chambered contraption, but it sounded like a human heart.

It was the next girl's turn. She laughingly lifted her shirt. She turned out to be human.

It was my turn. I knew I was a more sophisticated model than Malaika, and my chest looked perfectly human.

They seemed to know I was a robot already. I think they were friend with Max.

But I lifted my shirt to a smooth, bare chest, and there were exclamations of confusion and delight and curiosity.

The girl who'd gone before me unabashedly pressed her ear against my chest and heard my odd heart-beat and laughed with delight, telling the rest of the girls that I was, indeed, a robot. She could tell by my heart beat (which was beating rather loud at the time).

Anyway, from there it gets a bit sketchy. I found a kitten, which I thought was real, but it ate so much tuna that I knew that a real kitten didn't have that kind of stomach capacity. And it acted not quite right.

I decided to keep it, even though it felt...ominous to me.

Then the phone woke me up. Dammit.

Max was hot. I woke up all hot and bothered.

Which is saying something, because I haven't been hot and bothered in a long time.

Ah, dreams.

I want to turn this dream into a story. I layed in bed for half and hour trying to fit all the pieces together, but I had a hard time. I don't like writing in first person, but I think elements of the story would be lost without it.

I always think first-person writing is cheesy.

Anyway, I'm hungry now. I'm going to go eat something.

.

Rosie.

Before&After