My blood is humming tonight. I can feel it. It makes me not want to go to bed.

And I don't have to!

There's nothing I have to get up for tomorrow morning.

Isn't that fantastic?

I think, however, that I am depressed.

You know how I can tell?

I am drinking too much, imbibing too much, all by myself. I don't want to be social (not with more than one or two select people at once, anyway). I don't particularly want to get laid.

All I really want to do is shut my brain off for a while.

It's a bad rhythm to get in to. I know it is. I got into it without even noticing.

Now, now I just have to work my way out of it.

But for the moment I'll ride the wave. I've identified and acknowledged the issue, and now I just have to ride this rapid river and look for a way out.

I always find a way out, when ever this happens. It's just a matter of looking.

I knew something was wrong last week when I went to an SCA event with a van full of other people.

I didn't really want to talk, I didn't find anyone's jokes funny, I wasn't really looking forward to the event. All I really wanted to do was go home and be by myself.

If that's not a sure sign of depression, I don't know what is.

Anyway, I did end up having fun at the event, but I was in a weird head space the whole time.

On the bright side, I made a scroll for Inga, my teacher. She was getting awarded a very rare award, and I was asked (specifically!) to do an original for her.

I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. It was a very difficult scroll to do.

It was based off a block print of a griffin. I don't know enough block printing to actually do a good replica, so I just did it in ink, but did all my strokes as if it were a block print (eg. there was no cross hatching, everything was shaded in parallel lines).

Fearsomely difficult.

I gave myself indigestion for three days worrying about it. I mean, I knew it would be beautiful, and I knew I could do it, but it was a style I'd never done before. I was still nervous, even after practicing and practicing.

When I got the scroll to the event, I wrapped it in my spare woolen dress and left it in my tent. (It was already in a cardboard sheath; the wool was just in case of water leakage.)

At night, I slept with one arm on top of it, waking when ever the rain got too heavy to make sure my tent wasn't leaking and my scroll was still okay.

I did not get a lot of sleep on that first night.

After the scroll was given and it was passed into Inga's capable hands, I slept like a freakin' baby.

Well...you know...a baby that sleeps through the night.

You shoulda seen the look on Inga's face when I showed her the scroll. Many a night will be warmed by that look.

Anyway.

I would also like to point out that the ground in Saskatchewan is the sofest ground I've ever slept on.

As someone who has, many a time, slept directly on the ground, or with no more than some blankets to pad me, Saskatchewan definitely takes the cake for comfort.

Nice squishy Saskatchewan.

And now, it is time to settle on my couch and forget about things for a while.

Adieu.

.

Rosie.

Before&After