I am afraid of everything.

~

I went to a wedding this weekend. Two of my dear friends got married. It was one of those marriages that was just Right. Everyone was thrilled.

I was dressed to the nines. Wiggle dress that fit me in all the right places. Hair simple, make-up dramatic. Great legs, plain shoes.

I felt like a million bucks, and I flirted with all the gay men and blasphemed my way through the rapture.

I couldn't help but think of G.

~

In January, G told me that it felt like there was a rope attached to his heart, pulling him around.

I know the feeling. I know the goddamned feeling.

At the reception, I would forget about it.

But every so often, when conversation went quiet and there was nothing to distract me, I could feel that rope pulling, pulling, pulling.

I ignored it.

But I checked my phone. Usually, when I got that feeling extra strong, he would call, or email.

But nothing.

It's all stupid, isn't it.

I'm just stupid.

~

Am I obsessed with being broken hearted all the time?

Am I obsessed with drama?

I *do* work in the theatre. That's a lot of drama right there.

I just don't know.

~

I totally hit on the brother of the bride.

Not because I was particularly interested, but for scientific reasons.

The bride is very much an anomaly in her conservative, roman-catholic, tight-laced family.

So I showed some teeth, laughed, batted my eyelashes, and flirted with her brother just to see what would happen.

I got a thorough explanation of the weather systems in Arizona.

...

It was funny.

.

Rosie.

Before&After