I blew up at Yehudi.

I shouldn't have blown up at 'Hudi. But I did.

I couldn't take it. I really couldn't.

(It wasn't so much blowing up as snapping.)

We were rehursing Blood, Lust and Rhetoric in the foyer outside the drama room, and he passed through to get a drink of water.

Coming back he slouched, and stuck out his bottom lip. His 'I'm depressed, pity me stance'.

No, he doesn't get depressed like everyone else. He has to tell people about it, namely me.

Normally I don't care. I really don't. Well, I don't care he's attention seeking, because he needs attention (his family, I don't think, is very attentive to him). So I give him a hug, a pat, consoling words (like every freakin other time) and get back to work.

"What's wrong, 'Hudi?"

"I'm just sick of it all."

"I know the feeling."

A sneer, faint snort. "I doubt that."

I snapped. I couldn't take that. Not that! Not from him, from fucking him the fucking little attention seeking fucker! I couldn't! He didn't know anything about me, next to nothing, because I tend not to talk about myself and let him talk about his problems. But I couldn't take that, the tone of his voice, the words. They were so assuming, and I hate when people assume things about me. It's tied for my first pet peeve (second is people helping me if I don't ask for help nor look like I need help).

I hate it.

I couldn't

wouldn't

musn't

didn't

take it.

Not something like that.

My mood snapped from pitying to exremely pissed off in a nanosecond.

"How the hell...how the fucking hell do you know what my life is like?"

"Well, how do you know what mine is like?"

"You tell me about it!"

And I promptly turned my back and stormed back to my rehursel.

I shouldn't have snapped. I just wouldn't, couldn't take that.

I passed him in the hall just a few minutes ago. I would have said 'hello', but he looked at me, then deliberately looked away like he didn't know me, so I didn't bother. I won't give him the satisfaction.

Unfortunately for me, pride is one of my greatest evils.

Fucker.

.

Rosie.

PS, Sorry, 'Hudi.

Before&After