I'm lonely.

It's a feeling I haven't felt in a very long time.

But the fact that I cannot connect with him imediately leaves me feeling alone and slightly abandoned, although I know he's coming home tomorrow.

I can't wait.

It's like waiting for Christmas.

I miss sleeping beside him (there's rarely been a week when I haven't slept beside him at least once during the week, usually twice).

I miss his warmth. I miss his making me laugh. I miss shoving each other around, then being pinned to the ground with him on my chest.

I miss the way when I look up at him before I go to bed, and he's on the computer playing some game, and I just give that pleading look and that intonement of "Miiike..."

And he grins and rolls me on to my front and pushes up all my clothes and scratches my back long and slow, dragging his fingernails down my ever so sensitive back.

Which transports me into ripples of extasy. I love getting my back scratched.

I miss kissing him the most, I think. Stealing kisses in the aisles at the video stores. Fleeting pecks.

I miss kissing him in the shadows of the yellow plum tree in the middle of the night, with our hands full of stolen plums.

I miss kissing him in the rain under the porch of the barber shop that he lives in.

I miss kissing him briefly and passionately up against the sink in the back of Subway on the nights I go down to help him close.

I miss him coming in to Darwin's to tease me and buy peanuts and juice and then kissing me with his salty tongue.

I miss kissing him.

I hope he comes home quick. I'm going to skip rehursel if I have to to meet him at the bus depo.

Though I shouldn't.

But I miss him so badly that it hurts.

I'll have to see whether I am allowed to miss rehursel. I'm only in one scene and have two lines, anyways.

But I'll already be missing so many rehursels.

Agh.

The torment.

I miss him, but I have obligations.

Which to go for, the personal or the public.

Help.

Me.

Before&After