I didn't get in to UVic.

Why? WHY?! Goddammit! What the hell am I going to do?

...

That's a rhetorical question. Don't answer.

I mean, UVic had the best odds of me getting in. And I know I'm not untalented. Maybe I just came off like a cocky little shit?

But if I didn't get in to the easiest one to get in to, what about the other ones?

Langara.

I know I'm not getting in to Langara.

Red Deer.

Red Deer is pretty much my last hope.

But...

But it *is* in Red Deer.

A mountain girl, going to the prairies?

Do you think I can do it?

Well, I will, if I have to.

But that puts ten hours between Mike and myself.

I know that's pretty stupid to think about, so the logical side of my brain doesn't even consider it as a deciding factor. Not much, anyway.

"We never think about just 'Rosie' anymore. No, it's always 'Mike and Rosie this..' and 'Mike and Rosie that..'. It's like we never see you two apart."

It's going to be like unhitching my left breast and leaving it at home, y'know? I'll feel selfconcious and way off balance for a while, but eventually I'll adjust. Whether I want to or not, I'll adjust. Of course, I'll be walking at a bit of an angle, but...

What happens if I don't get in any of the schools? What happens then?

I phoned Mike when I got the rejection letter.

I wasn't upset at first, but then I thought about it.

And I thought, "Holy shit...What the hell am I going to do?!"

What happens if I don't get in to school next year? Am I just going to be a waitress at a fading Chinese restaurant for the rest of my days?

Am I going to stay in this tiny, dead end town and just wither up and die?

That's what it feels like.

But there's still two more schools to go.

Won't it be deliciously ironic if I get rejected by UVic *and* Red Deer, then get accepted in to Langara?

Ooo, that would be so gloriously ironic.

.

Rosie.

Before&After