So I've fallen off the celibacy boat into the sea of lust and caught myself a nice, stinging bladder infection all in the same week, not to mention the red tide is late.

What a life, what a life.

On the other hand, the room cleaning is going well. The ebbing tides of collected god-only-knows-what have redceded to a gentle lapping.

I used to have to tell people I'd borrowed things from:

"You're gonna have to wait until it surfaces again, until the tide throws it up on shore."

I discovered, as I suspected, that the cd player on my new stereo skips.

I figured.

That brand, that style, usually did. It's old. But the tape deck works fabulously and the sound quality is really good for a tiny stereo.

Mike is in a really bad mood.

I made him smile a little, though, and managed to squeeze a not-so-unwilling hug and kiss from him.

Honestly, I don't know about this whole 'living with his best friends' deal.

Maybe I'm jealous.

Which is stupid. Really stupid.

I always stress the point that I want to have my own social life outside a relationship, and I realize that it's good for him to, too, but there will be so many things we can't do anymore that I'm going to miss.

Getting naked randomly being one.

Making love on the kitchen/bathroom/livingroom floor/wall/counter/etc.

Making out on the couch, because I know he doesn't feel comfortable with public displays of affection, even if it's only his friends around.

Having just Me-and-Him nights.

Having two other people around for our one-on-one Sunday nights.

I think last Sunday was our last one-on-one for a long time.

I used it well. Very well.

Having his place as a quiet haven when I'm fighting with my parents, or just want to be by myself.

Also it's way out of the way, apparently, so I'm going to have to taxi there after work (I'll have been on my feet for ten hours, like hell I'm going for a forty-five minute walk).

He hasn't even showed me his new place, yet. He's been putting it off, and I don't like that. I'll have to talk to him about it when he's in a better mood.

I know that moving in with his friends is good for him, because he really hasn't had much of a social life since all his friends moved away, and he does need human contact outside of myself.

I went to visit him at work like I usually do, and he wouldn't meet my eyes or speak so I could hear him. He just muttered and grumbled and kept the visor on his hat down.

Honestly, I think the fact that my dear Brian is in town, and I was in Subway with him talking to some other guys, and I was stroking Brian's head.

I'm very fond of Brian, but I'm not in love with him, I just like him and am comfortable with him because I'm not sexually attracted to him at all.

Go figure.

I hadn't seen Brian in almost ten months. I'm so glad he came to town.

I think Mike was a little jealous. Just a little bit. Although he's really not the jealous type, I think he's gotten a little bit more possessive and protective since Sunday.

But you know, really, all I want to do right now is cuddle down between his sheets, with his head on my chest, and his sleep arm draped heavily over my belly.

That's what I want right now. I want it so bad it hurts.

.

Rosie.

Before&After