So I just phoned my mother. She says (and I quote) "there's no hope in hell that we're coming to get you, Rosie". And I'm like, "Wh-what?" Yeah, apparently I'm to fend for myself. And I ask you this: HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?! I barely have any money, and they expect me to find a place to put my stuff into storage, and find a way to transport the rest of my stuff home (my clothes, my toiletries, anything else I want for the summer, including my sewing machine and my computer, which my dad wants me to bring so he can fix). On the Greyhound. I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like a bird that's been tossed from the nest before stretching my wings. I'd never lived on my own before I came here. Never! I'd never even lived in a different house than my house! I was almost constantly in the same room, even! I shared the room next to that one with my brothers when I was very little, but I got my own room when my dad moved his office to the basement, and it was no longer 'suitable' to have boys and girls sleep naked in the same room. I think I was barely six, if that. I didn't know the first thing about living, and I still don't. It's a blessing I'm in Rez, or I'd be floundering so badly. Frankly, I feel a little bit abadoned. Just a little bit. They still pay my rent and my tuition (I pay for books and living expenses, food, etc). I've had to deal with so much fucking shit this year I'm barely hanging on. Fuck. Now I've got a headache. It's like, they transported me here to dump me off, then dusted their hands and said, "Well *that* was fun. Now what?" Fuck. And Laura, Laura, my old friend Laura from back home, she goes to UNBC (that's in Prince George; it's about eighteen hours away), and every year her father goes and drops her off, then picks her up at the end of the year. Every year! She's been doing her schooling for, like, four years now! He even goes and picks her up for Christmas! Goddamn. I feel so abandoned right now. Maybe I shouldn't go home at all. . Rosie.
Before&After
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