Loren seems grumpy.

I asked him about it and he gave confusing, frustrated answers, like I give when I'm grumpy but don't really know why.

I want to make him feel better, but I don't know how.

I don't think sex is the answer, though I'd very much like to.

I don't think he likes it much when I tease him about sex.

I only kind of mean the things I say. I do wish we had sex more.

Oh well. Can't win them all, I suppose.

I've been depressed lately, and I know I should find a job, but I've barely been out of the house. I sit in all day, cleaning, or planning what to cook for dinner.

It's sparse enjoyment, because we don't have a lot of food.

Don't have a lot of money.

I've been drawing, too.

I bought a couple pieces of nice art paper with my last couple dollars, and I've been doing a colored pencil drawing of a scene from the fairy tale 'Donkey Skin'.

"After finishing all her work, Donkey Skin slid away to her little cubby under the stairs. She washed the soot from her hands and face, and pulled out the dress that shone like the Sun."

It's a nice drawing. I wish I could scan it and post it, but I don't have a scanner. Stupid computers.

I designed a business card for Loren today, but I think it's too 'funky'.

I think he wants plain and elegant.

I dunno. What ever.

He said he had some work to do this evening, but I bet he's just smoking in the dark in the Wal-Mart parking lot, listening to live recordings of bands he likes.

That sounds so emo.

Or poetic.

One or the other.

What ever.

I'm tired and frustrated. I don't know what to do.

I wonder if my whole life will be like this?

Probably not.

.

Rosie.

Before&After