I've been sleeping peculiarely deeply lately.

I used to sleep very deeply as a child, up until I graduated high school, pretty much, and even sometimes in college, but since I moved into this house I'd wake up two or three times a night.

Which sucks. But, you know, nature calls.

Too often, but nature calls. My bladder seems to have gotten smaller since I've gotten older.

But the last two nights I've slept amazingly deeply, all through the night.

And dreamed.

Oh, how I've dreamed.

I don't remember last night's, but I remember waking up and being a little confused over which was reality. It was so coherant, with bright colours and a logical storyline.

Last night I dreamed I was being courted by a....circus performer, I think.

He was an acrobat.

Well, I don't really know what he was.

He did a balancing and strength act on a stage set with all sorts of poles and posts, and he never touched the ground.

He was a bigger guy, not your typical acrobat, with a fairly wide, built upper body. I don't think he was taller than me, though.

He was angry. I got the impression he had a temper and hid behind it. He scowled a lot, and was your typical moody Byron-type.

He had dark hair to his shoulders, and olive skin, and the veins in his arms stuck out a lot from his work. I think he was hispanic, or partially, or maybe Italian.

Anyway, he haltingly (and frowningly) expressed his emotions to me in such an endearing way, that I was beginning to fall for him on that alone.

I was ready to throw myself into love, when another girl from the circus came up and started whispering in my ear.

She told me he was lying, and he had another girl on the side, that he said that to all the girls.

And then she pressed a bottle of acid into my hands.

It was a jug of a bottle, kind of like a milk jug, or a bleach bottle, with a handle like that and a tiny opening.

I was so angry, I was blind. He approached me at just the wrong time, and I heaved with my hand and splashed the acid on him.

It wasn't much, because the opening of the bottle was so small, and I found out a little later that it was a very weak acid.

But he screamed and fell backwards, clutching at the right side of his face and chest. His face had only gotten spattered, and his chest took the brunt of the burns.

The agony in his face was not only from the acid, and so I ran.

He had a performance that afternoon, which was what I was there for originally, celebrating....uh....the opening of an airport, I think? Or a festival of air? Something like that.

He decided, despite his burns, that he would perform.

At the festival, no one would talk to me or look at me. It was mostly fans of his, or circus workers.

The girl looked perfectly smug.

I started thinking about what the girl had told me, and began to doubt, and guilt crept up.

I went to his show. It was in a large tent, backed up against one of the buildings of the airport, and all the chairs were folding chairs.

I sat in the left hand section, in the aisle, so I could flee if I needed.

The stage was smaller than he usually performed on, and had to parallel bars.

The very first stunt he did involved balancing on his hands on these bars, and just as he did, his strength seemed to go and he fell over backwards and landed hard on his back.

The audience was horrified, and rushed with murmuring.

I half stood, terrified, and would have gone up to the stage immediately, but the woman (who was probably acting as stage manager) came down the aisle towards me, glared at me and deliberately passed me by to pull the girl who had whispered in my ear and her twin sister from the audience to comfort him.

The girl still looked smug, and I hated her.

I watched, but he didn't really welcome the girl's attentions, and seemed indifferent to her sister (who seems no more than concerned for his well being as a person).

I don't remember how it ended anymore, but I think I came to him, and he was angry, but softened because I was in obvious emotional pain over what I'd done to him.

But I don't remember well. It's been a while since I woke up now.

Ah well.

Dreams are neat.

.

Rosie.

Before&After