Heartsick: where you want to cry, scream, and throw up, all at the same time.

I'm hurting a lot, and very confused.

It's not like me to not be able to sort out my feelings, but I darkly suspect it's a million tiny feelings all mashed together.

Anyway, I don't like it. I've become sullen and snappish with Tyne, and she doesn't seem to remember why I'm unhappy, so she snaps back. (All I wanted is not to be kept awake with her and her new boyfriend having sex AGAIN, especially not now.)

I think part of the hurt is realizing that Loren has gotten over me significantly faster than I have him.

I am not whole. I'm working on it, but even before I found out, thinking about Loren hurt.

I don't know what I want.

I wish Loren hadn't told me.

I've been crying on and off since he told me, great choking sobs, and I don't know what to do about it.

I started crying over my painting yesterday, even though I was trying really hard not to think about anything.

Why am I so upset?

I have no right to be.

.

Rosie.

Before&After