I have noticed a peculiar habit of mine. Basically, if someone tells me they're going to do something with me, I'll fixate on it (especially if I've been having a rough week; I'll fixate on the good thing to drag myself through the tough parts). But that means, if the person backs out, I get unreasonably irritated. Case in point: It's tech weekend; my shortest day was ten hours. My longest was sixteen. I was questioning whether I should have signed the contract at all, and I was utterly exhausted. It was all I could do to drag myself to the train station to get down to Paul's place every night, where he would feed me, put me to bed, and then make sure I got to work on time again in the morning. (Thank goodness; I'm very appreciative of that.) Somewhere along the line, he cheers me up with: "Next week you and I and Allison and James will go see Stardust together." He knows I've been wanting to see Stardust since it came out, and although he didn't particularly want to see it (I think he'd like it, mind) he knew that would cheer me up. It did. I dragged myself through that weekend with the idea of seeing a movie I'd been really wanting to see with my boyfriend and a couple friends. The week in question begins. We try to schedule the movie around everyone's schedules. We try for Wednesday, which James, Allison and I all have free. Paul: "Oh, sorry, I have hockey on that night." Alright. We bump it to the next day. Paul: "Oh, sorry, I have fight practice." ....FIGHT PRACTICE IS EVERY FREAKIN' WEEK. As is hockey, I might point out. This movie is only going to be in theatres for so long. Anyway, yesterday Paul asks me if I want to go to the movie today (Sunday). But I've already agreed to go tango dancing with Stephen (navy boy who plays the banjo; met him online almost a year ago). I had to back out of last week because of work, so I'm certainly not going to back out on him again. But I'm still left feeling irritated at Paul, with no real solid justification. I knew he didn't want to see the movie. I shouldn't be as bothered as I am that he's managed to avoid seeing it. Grrrr. And then offering to take me on the one evening I'm busy! I don't know why that irritates me as well, but it does. It's like he managed to back out again, but sneakier. Bah. Boys. . Rosie.
Before&After
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