I realized today that I can't stand the thought of sexual connection with another man.

Not even Paul. I don't know that I trust him enough anymore to let him touch me intimately.

The sight of happy lovers no longer makes me eager in anticipation, or reminiscent. It just makes me feel tired and sad, like something vital in me has been burned away.

I think I shall go to the lesbian dance party that Juliet is organizing, and see how things go from there.

Before&After