Tomorrow (or perhaps later today) I am going to a play with a man who makes my knees weak simply by looking at me.

Unfortunately, he's taken.

Fortunately, it's an open relationship.

Unfortunately, I don't know how I'd feel being a secondary.

HOWEVER, I am still pleased he agreed to come see this play with me.

I even bought a new dress (considering I have another opening to go to on Friday, with ANOTHER man - go me!).

Oh! I bought a dress. Right.

I needed a dress. I shopped around.

I eventually went into Le Chateau. (Yeah, I know. Me! In Le Chateau! But they have some decent dresses that aren't patterned polyester jersey, like so many dresses these days.)

Anyway, I tried on one red satin number, and it was nice, fit well in the bum, but my chest was making leaps for freedom out of the ungenerous bodice.

Le sigh.

I was going to give up, but the shop girl stopped me and asked me if I was going to a fancy party. I explained the plays.

"Let me find you something," she said, so I shrugged. Couldn't hurt.

She pulled up a few dresses. They were alright, but still no's.

Then she pulled up a plain black number with full, short sleeves, and a narrow tie around the waist.

It was simple, it was elegant, it was classic. I liked it, even with a price tag of $90 (hey, I'm poor-ish!).

I stepped out of the change room, and it was no thirty-second silence, but the shop girl liked it, and I liked it. I liked that I could accessorize it to make it different, so I could wear it a lot.

"And here," said the shop girl, draping a dark gold scarf around my neck. "You could accessorize it like this. Long skinny scarves are very in this season!"

I almost laughed in her face.

In? IN?!

Obviously the poor girl did not realize she was talking to Rosemart the Destroyer, who was recently described as having a 'wanton disregard for conventionality' (I took that as the compliment which it was given).

I merely smiled, looked in the mirror at my scarf-bedecked self (although the girl was good at picking a good dress shape, she was not good at accessorizing; the scarf sliced off my head and swallowed my neck, which isn't all that long to begin with), and handed the scarf back to her.

"I think I'd rather do jewelry," I said. "But thanks."

The neckline of the dress is a lovely scoop. Perfect for showcasing jewelry.

But I did not buy it right away; I put the dress back, finished perusing the mall, tried on half a dozen more dresses, and then went back and bought it.

I must have looked funny; the staff had changed over during the time I was finishing shopping, and the guy at the till just saw me walk in, pull a dress of a rack, and drop it on the counter.

Anyway, I continued shopping for a while after that. I bought a few pairs of socks, some wax for my eyebrows (I hate tweezing when they get this fluffy), and...I hate to say it...a body shaper.

Shame on me! I bought shaping underwear.

It's all because of that stupid shop girl.

When I tried on the final dress, we were discussing it, and I mentioned how I liked that it was busier up top, to draw attention away from my lumpy hips (I blame my mother for those).

"Yes," she said, poking my little rolls. "You really need a shaper to get rid of these bumps."

So I bought a shaper.

Admittedly, I tried it on, then tried the dress on over top, and it really did make a difference. The dress sits a lot nicer on my hips with the shaper, and even if no one else notices, *I'll* notice, and that will make me more confident.

A bit of a pity, though. I was hoping to wear only bra and stockings under the dress. ;) Oh well. I'll look fantastic, and that's what counts.

Still haven't settled on what to do about my hair, though. I think I'm going to have to take a run to Wally World tomorrow to pick up some product.

I never wear product in my hair. Ever.

Tyrell, one of the actors from last year, once asked me how I kept my hair so shiny.

"Um," I said. "I wash it sometimes, and I never put product in it." And I eat pretty healthily, which probably helps.

But a play opening, and the writer of Columbo and Murder She Wrote will be there! I'm excited. I was pretty much raised on those shows.

Oh! It has just been brought to my attention that said juicy male is NOT in an open relationship (good to know; I had assumed).

Very well! It will be buddy-buddy play-seeing. (I will still be irresistibly gorgeous, because I can. I shall just not focus the full force of Rosemart-Glory at him.)

And now, I am cold. It's a balmy plus seven, and I think it's time for bed.

Be well, all.

.

Rosie.

Before&After