I did a horrible thing.

I cried.

No, not just cried; I cry all the time. But I cried in front of Mike.

I fought with my mother over the phone, over /his/ phone, and I cried, like I always cry when she gets mad at me, and he was there.

And I quietly told my mother off through gritted teeth. Quietly, bluntly, with control that was on the verge of snapping. On the verge of completely breaking me down. Completely.

And Mike was watching me silently from the couch, and he stood up and nestled up against my back, quietly snuggled up, filling the folds of my body as I fought with the woman who brought me into this world.

He rested his cheek in the curve of my neck, one arm slipped about my waist, the other over the hand that wasn't gripped on the phone.

And when I hung up on her, when I finally had no more to say and pried the phone from my white knuckles, I just paused, but couldn't keep the tears from continually sliding down my cheeks.

Quietly so my voice wouldn't split, so he wouldn't be able to hear how upset I was, I said, "I don't get along with my mother very well."

And he just wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I cried on his collerbone for a few minutes.

He smiled, though, after he made me laugh a few minutes later and said simply, "I knew there was a smile under those tears."

I still hate crying in front of people.

I'm always afraid they'll get mad at me for crying.

Afraid they'll "really give me something to cry about".

I really don't like crying in front of people unless there's absoloutely no way I can get away from it.

Pretty stupid, huh?

.

Rosie.

Before&After