I stepped into a new, frightening world last night.

Caught up with Brian as him and a bunch of others were headed to the bar, the Queens, the second dirtiest bar here.

So I followed.

I'm underage, but I didn't really care. I wasn't going to be drinking. I'm well behaved, I never cause trouble. Not intentionally, anyway. I prefer preventing it, if anything.

So I went with them.

I'd never been in the Queens before. I've been in The Library, and Mike's Place, but never the Queens.

It was everything I'd ever expect the second dirtiest bar to be.

Dented furniture and booths that havn't been replaced in fifty years. Greasy walls stained with tobacco smoke and spots I'd rather not think about. Tinny sound system that was either too loud or too quiet. Sleazy over-painted under-dressed middle-aged waitresses, looking world weary and dragging occasionally on a cheap ciggarette, serving lousy drinks and strange tasting water.

I ordered some water, because I didn't want to drink.

Bad idea.

Never again, never again.

It was too dark and too loud and too crowded, even though there was only two dozen people at most in the entire place, that included the staff.

The sinks in the bathroom don't work, but won't shut off. The stalls are covered with hastily scribbled grafitti and cheaply dressed half-drunk barely of age girls.

I would never dare touching the toilet seats. Ever. I cringed just leaning against the wall.

Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore and had to leave. It was too dark, too loud, and smelled to strongly of beer, smoke, and unwashed bodies.

My mother once accused me of living with my head in the sand.

She's right, you know, I do live with my head in the sand. You know why? Because the world is an ugly, ugly place and if I do not bury myself in my own little world I, too, will eventually be swallowed by the filth and rubbish that is human society.

So please, let me live with my head in the sand.

And please, never let me go into the Queens again.

Ever.

Let me have some faith in human beauty. Let me have my innocence. My stupid illusions.

Please.

Life is so filthy.

.

Rosie.

Before&After