I. Am. So. Goddamned. HORNY.

And dammit, I'm not ashamed to say it.

I've been building for more than a week, and Loren's been distracted with work and music (he had three gigs on the weekend), so I've barely got more than a distracted kiss.

AGH.

Anyway.

My mother's been asking me 'what I've been doing', and I know it's a sly coverup because she's stopped asking what I've done to further my career.

Honestly? It's none of her goddamned business.

I can go as far or as little in the goddamned career she chose for me.

If it were up to me, I'd be at fucking acting school.

Dammit. I feel so moody at the moment.

I feel kind of inadequite, too.

I mean, what kind of girl am I if I can't even distract Loren away from a freakin' mixing board?

Sure, it's got more knobs to fiddle, but still...

Agh. I don't know. I suppose I should talk to him about it. He's been kind of distant lately, too. Drifting.

I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head. My dad says most of what I perceive involving other people and myself is in my head.

Then again, my dad's not known to be the brightest bulb in the box (for all he's a physics/math college professor and Mensa member).

I don't know. I'm just ranting now.

It probably is all in my head.

I mean, he always looks back after he drops me off in the car, and at the gig of his I went to on Saturday he stuck up on me a couple times and snuffled into the crook of my neck, and he always prepares his shoulder at night so I can settle down against his side with my head there, and he more often than not runs his fingers through my hairline until I fall asleep.

Yeah, it's probably all in my head, coupled with his excitement of getting new equiment (it really is very nice equipment).

I don't know. I'm just horny and need a little reassurance.

.

Rosie.

PS, I am still aware that I am Hot Shit, but it doesn't really matter if the man I want doesn't think I am, does it?

Before&After