My impression of what would happen if there were a war (note: the following may offend some viewers. Viewer discretian is advised....gawd, I can't even spell discretian...): ... US: YEEEEEAH! Lemme kick some Eastern /ass/...Dude, this is great! Wonderful for the economy, and we get to kick some Eastern /ass/...Yeeha! Swedan:...Oh god...*sigh*...Not /again/... Germany: Okay. Okay. We didn't do eet. No, seriously! Thees time eet vasn't us! Okay, maybe ve really, really, /really/ hoped eet vould 'appen, but that doesn't mean eet vas us. Don't attack us. Let us built up a massive killer force first, so ve can--whoop. Internal voice, external voice. Keep forgetting. Eegnore anytheeng suspicious, pleeze. Switzerland: Puh/leez/. Don't make me give you all cosmic spankings with my army. Every man and woman over the age of eighteen in this place is in my army, you know. US: Dammit! How'd you manage that? We hardly get /any/ of the women in the army here...*spaced out drooling*...mmmm...women... Switzerland: *sigh* We make the chocolate. Remember? Ireland: Can't we all just play nice? I mean, I just got through some major cival war here...damn, that stuff gives me indigestion... Canada: Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! Pick me! China: Well...I dunno if we want to go to war right now...Let you know in a couple of months... Japan: Hey, can we just fight, but not really be fighting on any side? I mean, that's all good, isn't it? India: Stay away from us or we'll stop making your shoes and underwear for you! And where would you be without shoes and underwear? Taiwan: I'm thinkin' the same lines as India, there. And considering we make your guns as well, you better steer /completely/ clear. Got it? US: Fine, fine...No Indian-ass-bashing and no Taiwan-ass-bashing...I hate when they do that... Russia: 'Ey, you make us good deal, we fight with you. Ja. Zat ees what we lik. France: You know, ve 'avn't 'ad a var een a loong time, don't you zink, Italy? Spain? Italy: Eh? Whazzit? Ah, whaddeva...I go back to sleep...make ze wine...flirt weeth the women...I theenk it is a good theeng. War is no good. Can't make ze wine. Spain: Si, but I do not like thees 'war' theeng. I like to stay out of zem myselv. You people go play nice. I vill stay 'ere and...ya. I vill stay 'ere. US: Wussies... Canada: *jumps up and down and waves hand in the air* Oooooh! Me! Memememememememememememe! US: What? Canada: I wanna play too! Pick me! US: But your army is virtually nil...and your best submarines are attraction rides in a /shopping mall/... Canada: But I'm really big! That's gotta be worth something? Isn't it said that it isn't whatcha do with it, it's the size that counts? I volunteer! Pick me, pick me, oh, memememememememememe!! US: Great! Thanks for volunteering. You've been chosen. (Heheheheheh.) England: *sighs* God, I hate it when Canada does that... Canada: *buff* *sparkle*...Okay. What did I just volunteer for? US: Oh, we havn't decided yet, but what ever it is, I'm sure you'll be remembered and noted for it...England? You had something to say? England: *sigh* I suppose...if /Canada/ goes to war...we'll have to go to war too...(Dammit, I hate when Canada volunteers for things without asking what it's volunteering for first...) US: Great! All settled? Wonderful! Let's go kick some Eastern /ass/! ... Please excuse me if I offended anyone, but I warned you. ;) ...I think I failed a quiz in math today. I tried! I really, really tried. I wracked my brains, I worked it all in every way I could think of, but obviously it wasn't the way it was supposed to be. *sigh* Ah well. C'est la vie. I'm doing better than last year. I talked to Mrs. Smith today about changing some courses around and she told me to go talk to Mr. Foulger, who had told me to talk to Mrs. Smith. AGH! I hate it when they do that. (Mrs. Smith is our very, /very/ loud councillor. Like, seriously. She has the lungs of a giant. And she barely comes up to my shoulder. She's /never/ quiet. Ever. Everever. Always has volume stuck at 85. It's odd. Sometimes she bursts out into song as well...Peculier, I swear...) Heheh. I've got my family using medieval recipes. It's great. Some of them aren't completely authentic, but hey. I figured start them off on something tame, and move on to pork shaped like giant pea pods and stuff porpoise...mm...I don't think we'll be having stuffed porpoise any time soon, y'know... Man. I smell bad. Even I can smell it, with my horrible smelling ability. At least, I can't smell the things my mother seems to be able to smell. My dad can't smell them, same as me. Go figure. I should do some laundry...I need clean clothes very soon... Damn. I've almost been on an hour. Two thirds of my computer time... I've been playing the violin my dad brought back quite a bit. I mean, not a hell of a lot, but I really like the violin. I'm not very good, either, but I'm getting better by the day. I can do scales with ease now. The two higher strings need to be tuned; they're, like, half a note off, and it's bugging me. Still, I'm having fun, and my mother has offered to get me lessons, so long as I practice at least half an hour each day. Oo! Speaking of practicing, I've got opera tonight. I /love/ opera. I really do. When you've got some twenty, thirty odd people in a small room, all singing, it's /stunning/. It's better than the theatre (mostly because we can't act very well ;P), and it's great fun. I love it. So I'm singing some duet with Malaika. I'm really nervous, because I can't sing all ranges in the voice I was using for the audition. I can do most, with certain kinds of music, but I'm still nervous. What if Adele decides I can't do it? If I got sweaty palms when I was nervous, I'd have sweaty palms right now. But I don't. And so I don't. Makes sense. ;) Oo, I saw Brian last night. His hair is longer, and he ain't doing too wonderful. I mean, he's still alive and still smiling, but not as often. He doesn't have a job, isn't on welfare (he's trying to get back on welfare), and is being evicted from the place he was living because the landlord decided he wanted to live up there. I'll do what I can for the guy, but I'm pretty much broke, so I'll jump on him and hug him to death when ever I see him. ;) This is it. I am going to get glasses. It's been bugging me lately that I can't read fine print far off. Like, words you should be able to read. Mm. I really like the song Come What May, from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. It's beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, I'm a good minute into that song I'm doing a lighting show for in Stagecraft. I've taken a liking to lighting, really. I like it better when I can design and program and make major decisions by myself. I can make lighting shows that much better. I've changed the song I was doing. Before it was Bridge Over Troubled Water, now it's Miserere. The song is a male duet in Italian, I think, with Russel Watson and some guy who has a softer 'pop' voice. It's a very intense song, so I gelled all the lights blue and red. Soft, dark blue is for the underlying music, lighter, more intense blue is for the 'pop' voice, and varying shades of red is for Russel's voice. It's coming along nicely. It's really funny to watch Kristal watch me program the lights, because it looks like all that I've got in front of my is a white grid on the computer screen, and all I'm doing is writing loads and loads of numbers in the various slots. And poof, it's a whole lighting show. They way I do it is much easier, faster and more versitile that the way that the older students teach you how. I mean, it's all good and stuff, and probably easier to understand how it works, but the way I do it you can have one set of lights very slowly fading out while another set fades in quickly, and a fourth are blinking. Which is incredibly hard to do the way they teach you otherwise. Ah well. Some people just aren't up for it. I'm not pleased with my set design, either. There's something...I dunno. /Wrong/. Something /wrong/ with it. I can't figure out what it is. I can't figure out where to go next. I've glued and ripped out and pasted and stapled and shaken and thrown and yanked and screamed and it /still/ isn't any better... My fingers hurt. I wish I could find my rings. Dammit. My life is kinda uneventful right now. Well, today, anyway. I wish something would happen, something I could make happen, would happen so I could decide whether it's a Good Day or a Bad Day. Dagnabbit. Mm. I gotta go pee. So I run. Fast. Adieu, my friends, 'til we speak again, so I can ramble some more. . Rosie.
Before&After
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