I did what I thought was the impossible just a little while ago. See, my mother was in a pissy mood again at the dinner table, and after biting in to my little brother for a comment he said, ripped briefly through my older brother and how she couldn't /wait/ until he was out on his own and got a "cold dose of reality", and sank her teeth into me. And you know how much I hate it when people fight, with or without me. So my mother started tearing through me about how I should get a job. And I can't stand that sort of thing, and I don't like fighting or causing conflict, so my mom is like: "Why don't you get a job, Rosie? What are you.../lazy/ or something" Etc, etc, etc... So I just nodded and agreed and admitted to anything and everything my mother called me. And you know, it gets easier after a while. But I don't like crying at the dinner table, so I didn't blink. Not blinking is easy when your eyes are filling up with tears. So my eyes just filled and filled more and more as my mother talked and talked more and more. First my vision got a little watery around the edges. Soon I could barely see the potato I was peeling. Seriously, I saw color and light, but shapes were very difficult, if impossible to pick out. And then what I though was impossible happened. Tears began dropping straight off my eyelashes into my lap. They didn't run down my face and drop of my chin. Straight of my bottom lashes. Like rain drops. It was actually quite intruiging, dispite my state. Eventually, though, they started running down my face, which was dissapointing, but the first bit was still interesting... I'm actually kind of unsettled now, though. Not because my mother was ripping in to me again, but because I'm not upset that she did. I mean, I don't like her any more than I did before, that's for sure, but I'm not in the miserable, brutalized little pulp of nothingness I usually am after my mother fights at me. Funny that. But I'm glad I did what I thought was impossible. It's always rather heart warming. :) . Rosie.
Before&After
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