Wow. What a day. What a night. A very interesting night, to say the least.

First, day. You know, I can't remember the last full day my mother hasn't upset me in some way, or made me cry.

Maybe it's my fault, you know.

Today, it was because I started cooking while she was in the middle of something. And she had been in the middle of that something all day, so I figured, well. I need to get this done before 7:30, and iced, so I'll do it now. I won't procrastinate for once. So I started, and she bitched me out and stuff, even though she must have seen me clearing a space so I could cook, getting out the recipe, getting out ingredients...or maybe she's just blind. Either way, it wasn't pleasant.

"/So/ self-centered..." was the only phrase needed to set me off. I can't help it! Crying, I mean. I really can't. If your mother said you were '/so/ self-centered' in such a spiteful tone, and not cared if she upset you or not, it would probably hurt you too. I know it hurt me. Which is why I have never really gotten along with my mother, I suppose.

But maybe I am self-centered. Do you think I'm self-centered? I know I am sometimes, because everyone has to be sometimes, and I also choose to be sometimes. I mean, I can't give all the time. I like to be balanced, personally. Lay right in the middle. Sit on the fence. Be content with a little of everything. So yes, I do choose to be self-centered sometimes, because I wan't to please /me/ as well as everyone else...not like that, you dirty minded freak! (And I thought of it too, which makes me no better. ;P)

Anyway..Hmm. I think someone's upstairs. Then again, this is an old house, so it's probably just the house shifting (as usual)...or maybe...we have...a /ghost/...or maybe it's just my bro, comin' in from a wild night on the town. ;) The latter is much more likely.

Oh, and then after getting everything together, Daddy drove me up to Brennain and Mystica's. Halloween party thingie. Dressed as Marilyn Monroe. Big surprise, eh? ;) I was snazzy. Alyssa and Jennifer were already there, and *shudder* Eric came in right after.

Excuse me. I do /not/ like Eric as I've mentioned before. I respect the guy. But that doesn't mean I have to like him. And I /don't/. At all. I nearly had a heart attack seeing him there. He was one of the last people I was expecting to see, especially since he lives, or lived, in Oliver.

*sigh* But dispite Eric it was nice. /Everyone/ brought dessert. Like, seriously. There was /nothing/ else. Not that I was complaining. ;) I like dessert. I'll never get fat, and when I do, I'll claim I was always like that. ;)...but so long as I'm happy with myself, it's all good.

Now if my mother would stop asking me if I'd put on weight, and trying to keep me from eating. I hate that. Seriously. Mothers, unless you have a /very/ good relationship with your teenage daughter, /never/ tell her she's getting fat or putting on weight. Maybe help her behind her back, without her really realizing it, but for god's sakes! Don't /tell her/ that! It's the absoloute /worst/ blow you can give to their ego. It's seriously terrible. Unless they're trying to put on weight, and you're saying it as a good thing. Then that's all right.

But anyway...where was I before I got sidetracked? Yes, so I dressed as Marilyn, and it was nice. I just conventiently ignored Eric's low whistles and compliments -- he really makes me uncomfortable -- and flirting with Jen, Alyssa and Mystica until Nathan came, in his swashbuckling outfit.

Did I ever tell you people of the best kiss I ever had? Probably, but I need sometime to write about, so I'll tell you again.

The best kiss I ever had: I was over at Nathan's, after we had broken up, sewing garb with him in the middle of the night. We /needed/ to get the garb done, because we were going to Clinton the next morning. Nathan had been periodically going upstairs and phoning Tatsu to conferm rides and stuff. I was really tired, and trying to finish my embroidery edging, and Nathan had just finished his red valour pouffy tunic, which he promptly put on and modelled. Of course he didn't tell me, and just came downstairs wearing his wine red shirt, dark green sleeveless doublet, black pants, knee high black leather boots, and black leather gauntlets. And /damn/. I've got a thing for men dressed like that. So it was just like...oooo. Orgasmic. And I was just my dishevled, rumpled self, basking in his pouffy gloriousness...then the phone rang, and he skipped upstairs to get it. Sure enough it was Tatsu, and they talked and talked and talked and blahblahblahblah...and I just sit and embroider, like a good little female, sitting crosslegged and bent over on the floor (there was only one chair, and it was for the Nathan's sewing machine; I used me sewing machine on the floor, something which I've become quite good at)...and then Nathan got off the phone, walked down the stairs to the front of me, dropped to one knee, took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was just like....aaaauuuughhh...kind of thing, if you know what I mean. ;) So it was from Tatsu, so what. It was /exactly/ what I needed right then, as well as him being dressed the way he was, and me still slightly utterly adoring him...it was great. That's the best kiss I've ever had. Okay, so he said a second later, "And /this/ one's from me!" and kissed me again, while tickling the hell out of me. It was great. And I didn't stab /either/ of us with my needle! A good thing.

Anyway...I got sidetracked again, didn't I? Oh yes. So Nathan appears in his velvet glory, and we do the little flirty dance we always do. He's got a girlfriend now (alas, alack!) but we still are perfectly comfortable around each other, and flirt like nobody's business. ;)...he has a very comfortable lap, by the way...

And Lynx and Annie show up, briefly, dressed in their bits of garb. Lynx is really cute. Pity he has a wife. ;) Then again, she's really cute too, if almost twice his age...

Let's see...who else came...Oh, Ed appeared briefly, with Leah. His guitar. Heheh. We giggled at him and his shiny yellow electric guitar with the little reflective bits on it. He just beamed from ear to ear and strummed noiselessly at the amplifier-less guitar. Then dissapeared again to do...something in his room...I think he was meditating. Someone said he was. Can't remember who it was, tho.

Oh, Pam showed up later. Quite a bit later. After Nathan had left, I think.

Oh, Chris showed up, too.

Chris and Alyssa broke up. In some ways, I'm sad for them, for her because she was really happy with him, but another itty bitty part of my in the corner of my mind is crying for joy because...well...at one point I purely and completely /loved/ Chris. Every fibre of his being I loved. I was completely and deeply in love with him. Nothing ever really happened...wow. And it wasn't so long ago. The beginning of this year. But I still have rather intense feelings for him. I cannot say I'm in love with him, but I do care about him deeply.

Heh. We had a minor cuddle puddle...Oh! Tyler showed up! I thought he was in Vancouver, but he showed up! It was great. He was very...*ahem*...'supportive'. ;) If you don't know what that means, don't ask. Just accept it.

Damn, Tyler bit my wrists really hard, and they tingled and went numb for a few minutes afterwards. I think he has a bit of a fetish for biting. ;)

There's no marks there now, thank god.

Hm. I should go to bed soon. But I'm not finished.

So anyway...yeah. Minor cuddle puddle. I was leaning against the couch, which contained Alyssa (who kept talking in Spanish, and no one had the faintest idea what she was talking about) and Jenn, and had Tyler's head in my lap, and Chris was on Tyler's belly. Then Tyler left and Chris moved and put his head in my lap...(oh, be /still/ my beating heart!)...

Damn. You know, I can't remember what I was going to say. Hang on. I'll read back a little, see if it joggs my memory...

Hm. Nope. Can't remember what I was going to say.

Oh well. C'est la vie.

But I do still like Chris, but I'm going to try my best to keep from crushing on him.

Speaking of crushes...No. That can wait until tomorrow. Too much, too much...

Uh. Oh yes. There were talks of strip poker going around, and it seriously would have happened if Eric wasn't there. Not many people like Eric. Respect and tolerate, but not necissarily like. He tried his best to get a game started. We even had cards. But everyone quickly changed the subject.

Ooo! Keredok can stand now! All by himself. And hold his bottle. And get out of his chair. More like an awkward fall, but he can get out of it. ;)

Mm. I like this song that just came on...beautiful...

Let's see...People ate. People talked. Flirted. Sat in laps. Draped across each other. Fondled affectionately. Stroked. Teased. Flicked. Pinched. Flashed. It was all good fun, and not /nearly/ as dirty as it sounds. If only Eric wasn't there. But after a while it became easier to ignore him.

Hmm. A bunch of papers just fell from the top shelf on the booksshelf to somewhere.../down/...I should pick them up, but I really didn't see where they came from. Hmm.

Let's see...what else happened...Oh, we dressed Brennain as a woman. He makes a beeeootiful woman.

Uh...I can't remember...let's see...had faces buried in my cleavage...which isn't anything new, but it was as fun as usual...;)

Wow. I've written a lot. Par usual. ;)

Hmm...I wonder if Jennifer and Alyssa are lovers...I kind of got that impression, but I'm not sure...I'm never sure with this bunch...Jennifer is living with Alyssa now, tho...I know that much...

Jim showed up later on, too. Scraped at the window. Scared the living daylights out of everyone. It was amusing.

I drew patterns in highlighter all over Chris's lovely naked form...well...he was wearing black leather pants, which was just as good, so I just drew on his top half. He was going to a rave or something. The highlighter apparently shows up in black light. It'll look nifty. A little scribbly, but nifty nonetheless.

Yeah, Nathan came back and offered Chris and I a ride over to uphill, which we both accepted, of course. I suffered through a hug from the half naked (he was going to bed) Eric, before I /ran/ like hell. As I mentioned earlier, I don't like the fellow much, but I thought courtesy prevailed personal likes and dislikes, so I gave him the brief hug he wanted. Brief. Very brief.

Neither Nathan nor Chris like him much. Nathan explained that he came back because he's...well...protective over me. Why? Because I'm beautiful and wonderful, apparently. Which Chris agreed with. Go figure, eh?...But yes. For some reason, which Nathan couldn't explain either, he's very protective over me, and was thinking about the events of the evening and decided he /had/ to come back to protect me from Eric. Thank god! It's nice to know /someone/ out there cares! I love having people who care about me. It's such a warm fuzzy feeling...of course, swallowing a hampster also gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, but it's not quite the same.

So if you ever read this Nathan, /thank you/ for looking out for me. You're a wonderful human bean. Or being. Your choice. ;)

Which got me thinking about Captain Andrew. Who I probably mentioned before. Another protector. Thanks to you, too, though really. Tavis (so far) is harmless. Big a soft. Apparently falls in love to easily, so maybe you should protect him from me. I've been known to wreak havoc in that department, unfortunately. :/

You know, one of the only things that would be possible and would have made this night that much better, would be if I saw and got a great big hug from Mike. That would have been just /perfect/...

But anyway. I'm tired. It's late. I'm gonna go to bed, I think.

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite. If they do, take your shoe, and beat then 'til they're black and blue (or at least until the Greenpeace people come and beat the living daylights out of you for animal cruelty. ;P).

So yes.

Good night.

Aideu, farewell, parting is such sweet sorrow that I would say good night 'til it be morrow.

Good night, good night!

.

Rosie.

PS, if there's anything else I've forgotten, I'll be sure to write it tomorrow. ;)

PPS, Whadya think? Should I try and post some pictures of my friends whom I forever talk about? And family, maybe?

Before&After