I went to the docters on Friday, after getting fitted for costumes for 'Tom Jones'.

I didn't cry once. I'm very proud of myself. I almost did once, when I was talking about my scar, and how it hurts sometimes when I wake up, but I didn't tell him about how it had bled sometimes, because I didn't want to cry.

I just got a check up.

He's kind of worried about my heart and breathing, not because he found anything wrong with them, but because people who are born with kidney and uteri abnormalities have a higher chance or being born with heart and breathing problems.

I mean, I've never noticed any breathing problems, except I don't like working out because when I start breathing heavily my throat burns and my chest hurts.

Maybe that's why I got last in every race I've ever run.

Maybe that's why I don't run.

The docter was very nice. Asked me about my family, friends, school, theatre, what I'm going to do after high school. Probably to put me at ease, to keep me from crying.

I was just about as big as the docter this time. I've always been smaller than him, but this time I was just about as big. About as wide in chest and shoulder, and about as tall.

I got my heart monitored when I was there, too.

Thank god I didn't have to get a blood test. Last time I did. I went white as a sheet and started crying and shaking and the nurse thought I was going to pass out or throw up or something.

But I don't do that. I may be afraid of needles, but I'm not /that/ afraid.

I have to phone the hospital tomorrow and get an appointment for a chest x-ray.

"Just to be safe," the docter said. "I just want to be sure."

And I don't have two seperate uteris', I've got one oversized exttended heart shaped one. Like grabbing the two round parts of the heart and stretch. It's like that. I got him to explain it to me.

And my one kidney should offer no limitations, except I shouldn't go skydiving or something like that.

Shit. And I always wanted to go skydiving.

The reason is that if I injure my kidney, or break it, I'd die.

And I always wanted to go skydiving, dammit.

.

Rosie.

Before&After