Well, I'm alive, and in Red Deer.

Candace has decided she *hates* Red Deer.

I don't really blame her.

Loren and I parted ways at Frank Slide, after a gloriously romantic meal at A&W.

Okay, it wasn't romantic at all: it was cramped, and hot, and I started crying.

I'm not entirely surprised. I rather expected I would.

"Are you crying?"

"Maybe."

"Want to go outside?"

We did.

He gave me a good long hug.

"Oh, don't cry.."

"I can't help it."

"It's just me."

I know. I know that. But it was good. I really enjoyed it.

From my point of view, we got along really well. We didn't fight. We had fun.

Sometimes, it was weird.

Like, I'd phone his house, he wouldn't be home so I'd leave a message and two seconds later he'd phone.

I would figure he'd gotten my message.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at work."

"....you're not phoning 'cause you got my message?"

Glee. "You left me a message? Was it obscene?"

"Mm. No. Sorry."

"Awww..."

I cried though. Then I stopped, and we ate, and then I cried some more. Not sobbing, blubbering, wailing crying.

I just cried.

I'm sure I looked like a mess.

When we finally got to Red Deer, and finally got to Kas and Amy's place, I caught a look at myself in the mirror.

My face was white, white, almost sickly, deathly white, and my eyes looked very black and very watery by comparison.

But my face was translucently pale, like I'd just been really sick, though I hadn't.

(Though I do have a cold right now, which I caught from Loren. Heh. That was a fun cold to get.)

"Damn," I commented to Candace. "I've got a hell of a headache, and my eyes hurt, like I've been crying for two hours."

"Hon," Candace said with a pat to my knee. "That's because you *have*."

And I did, a little more, laying in bed, in the dark, by myself.

Not much though. I was pretty cried out. But writing this makes me want to cry more, so I better stop.

I wish I didn't cry so easily.

.

Rosie.

Before&After