Loren and I just snapped at each other.

He wants me to clean the spare room, which I've been considering MY room, and in which I store things like material and books and all sorts of things that people don't like laying around the livingroom.

Anyway, in a bout of enthousiasm he bought me several large plastic totes and a set of those clear plastic drawers. I bought another tote, and another set of drawers (those things are handy).

And he's been ragging on me to clean the room.

Now, I hate cleaning at the best of times, and I really resent having my space taken over (but I can kind of understand because he wants to make it into a music studio, to get all the music equipment out of our bedroom, which will be nice).

So I was cleaning this afternoon and Loren drops by home (to test out a bass he's been working on; he doesn't have amps and stuff up at his woodworking shop for good reason).

After talking to me for a bit, he pokes his head into the spare room where I'm working and says: "Can you get this all cleaned up by tonight?" in a less of a question and more of a "Please get this all cleaned up tonight".

Now, I admit, I don't like Loren touching my stuff, because he messes everything up and shoves piles together and puts things where I can't find them, but he's barely helped cleaning this room at all.

"Well, you know," I say, "I am going out shortly, and it's not like you're helping me."

"But you don't like me touching your stuff!" he protests, which is valid enough.

"True," say I. "But I'm here, and it would be REALLY nice to have a hand, especially when it's benifiting you."

Okay, I don't recall the exact words, but that was the general meaning.

"So, what?" he says. "Should I just tell all the people I work for to fuck off?"

"I don't care," I said testily. "Do what ever you want."

And then he left.

And I cleaned for a while, and then sat on the floor and cried a bit.

He phoned about five minutes ago to apologize for being bitchy, and I said it was no biggy, because I was being bitchy, too.

Admittedly, I almost didn't answer the phone.

He then offered to give me a ride to Judy and Janette's after he comes home to test the bass again, which I appreciated.

It's still disheartening, though.

I feel like I've forgotten how to be Rosie, and all I know how to be is RosieAndLoren.

It's weird, and a little bit wrong.

I don't know. Is this all slipping downhill?

I'd hate to see it go, because it's been good, but I don't want to cling to a dying animal.

We'll see. This needs more speculation.

.

Rosie.

Before&After