The other day some old guy tried to hit on me.

And by old I mean somewhere in the vicinity of SEVENTY.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like people older than me, but there comes a point I just don't want to date them.

So, I was in MacDonalds (yuck, I know). I was in line, waiting for my food, and the guy from another line turned around with his tray and stopped in front of me.

"Hello," he says.

"Hullo," say I.

"How are you?"

"Good, thanks."

"You're beautiful."

I like being called beautiful, so I just thanked him and he went to his table, and a little while later, I went to mine.

Fine.

I eat, munchmunchmunch, read my magazine (Realms of Fantasy!). I get the feeling this old guy has been staring at me for my entire meal. I make a point to slouch and stick out my bulbous belly.

I glance up: Mistake!

He is staring at me! And he take my tight smile as a cue to come sit with me.

Unfortunately for me, I'd sat at a table right up against a wall, so I was close to trapped.

So he sits down next to me, and starts talking, and I realize his English doesn't seem to be very good, or he's deaf and missing most of his tongue.

But the worse part is HE'S PETTING ME.

PETTING ME!

Any excuse to touch my arm, or my hand, or anything.

Bleeeeaaaaggghh...

Even if he was some hot young thing, I would *still* be seriously creeped out. Seriously, seriously.

It doesn't help he smells like sour old man (although he's dressed neatly in a suit).

He asks me what my religion is, and can't seem to wrap his head around the word 'agnostic'.

He asks me if I went to school, and I told him I went for 'technical theatre'. He thought I said 'secretary', and was quite impressed.

He wanted me phone number, so we could go for coffee, and I told him I didn't give my phone number out on the street. Especially to people who MIGHT be weirdoes (he was).

He couldn't quite get his head around this, but fortunately I had finished eating, so I made excuses in the form of trains to catch, and fled.

I would note that the table next to him, there was another man eating, who seemed to find this whole exchange pretty amusing in the 'feeling sorry for' sort of way. I caught his gaze once as he watched the exchange, and I'm pretty sure he would have come to my rescue if it had gotten any worse.

Bleeeaaagghhh...

Petting!

Seriously! Who pets?

At least there wasn't really any pressure behind his grip. If he'd been hardcore groping, I would have seriously freaked. More than I did, that is.

Man.

.

Rosie.

Before&After