I...had a very strange time at tavern.

It started alright. Paul wasn't there, so I was relaxing and enjoying myself.

But he showed up an hour later, with one of the female fighters in tow (a feisty petite girl who radiates muscle). I've seen them together a lot lately, but they *are* both fighters, so...

Anyway.

There are a lot of announcements involving Paul, and Paul announcing things. I try really hard to ignore him, but this makes it very hard.

At one point I'm standing, talking to James and Raven, and I look over. Paul's sitting with Robin (Susan's 10 year old daughter) on his lap, and they're just playing.

Girl (who's name I *think* is Kiri, or something like that) says something to him I can't hear, puts her hand on his back in a very familiar gesture, and then takes a drink out of his tankard.

Yep. That right there is suspicions confirmed to me. Paul is not a touchy person, and to touch him so requires a lot of familiarity (or you gotta be the Baroness).

I hold together for about ten more minutes before excusing myself quietly and having a hard cry outside.

I *know* something is going on between them. I asked Allison at the end of the night, even, because knowing is better than suspecting (knowing doesn't eat away the same way suspecting does). She said that she suspects they've slept together, but knows for sure there's nothing official.

That doesn't make it much better, so I quickly excuse myself again and duck outside.

About five minutes later Shane the Bartender appears around my dark little corner, sits down next to me, and puts his arm around me so kindly I burst into great heaving sobs.

He lets me cry out (which I really needed), and then we just talked for ten or so minutes (my ride was leaving; I was trying to pull together in a hurry).

"When I date," I tell him while wiping my nose elegantly on my sleeve, "I date for a long time. I'm not used to people pulling the rug from under me in the middle. It gives quite a shock to my system."

"Why do you think he likes camping events?" Shane replies ruefully. I know now that to be too true (there's a lot of casual sleeping about at camping events).

"I just wish someone had told me," I say, really wishing someone had. "I would have run right at the beginning."

Shane shrugs a bit. "We really thought he was finally going to settle down with you."

I thought so, too.

Well, no. I did not go into the relationship looking for marriage, but nor was I looking for a short roll in the hay. But I thought he would work on problems as they arose (as I do), instead of dropping everything at the first hint of trouble.

I did not know, when I first started dating him, that he was a serial. I suspected he was playing me, but he said all the right words, made all the right actions, and never so much looked at another woman.

So I believed him. Why shouldn't I? He made the right motions, nobody said anything different or even joked about his serial behavior, and for crying out loud, he stayed up with me for seven hours in the emergency room that time I peed blood, and didn't breath a hint of complaint.

Once Gemma, when she saw I was hanging around Paul, joked: "Keep your panties on." But I knew she wasn't really joking. But it was such a half hearted warning, I told Paul about it and we had a bit of a chuckle.

*sighs*

I need to go to bed before my headache gets any worse.

But we all know I'll play some video games first.

Sleep well, all, if ever.

.

Rosie.

PS, Later, I thanked Allison for sending Shane after me. She said she didn't specifically send him, but she had mentioned that 'someone might want to find me', and wasn't sure she was the right person to come talk to me.

Before&After