Looking back on last Thursday, I feel heartily embarrassed.

I do not know Shane well enough to cry that hard in front of him.

I cried wicked hard. With wild abandon, even. I think when someone writes the word 'sobbing', it is describing what I was doing.

Thinking about Allison later, and her suggesting that someone follow me, I wondered why. It was not the first time I'd cried at tavern, nor would it be the last. But every other time I'd managed to make it outside or into the bathroom before cracking, so she'd never seen me cry.

But last Thursday I started to break before I even finished my sentence, before my hand was even on the door.

I guess that's why she sent someone after me.

I am glad it was Shane. He has obviously comforted people before because he didn't even ask what was wrong; he just sat down next to me and held me close and stroked me hair.

It's when you're crying like that, when you're *that* miserable, that you really don't want to have to tell anyone why you're unhappy. I don't think I could have talked, anyway.

Shane gave me his email address and his cell phone number afterwards, telling me if I ever needed a shoulder, to call him.

I don't like phones.

Instead, today, I emailed him thanking him simply for helping me out last Thursday.

I spent days worrying over what I was going to say. In the end, it came down to something close to:

"Thank you for last Thursday. I was having a bad day; it was nice not to cry alone."

That doesn't sound too whiny or self-pitying, does it? I was trying to be perfectly honest, without fishing for sympathy.

Though the last bit kind of sounds like I'm fishing, but I'm not. Usually I prefer crying alone, but in this case, I'm glad I wasn't.

And that's what I was thanking him for.

Well, I haven't had a reply. I was going to mention my embarrassment for crying in front of him, but I don't think it matters to him, so I didn't say anything.

~

In other news, this next play makes me want to stab myself in the eye.

Rehearsals started today, Monday.

Friday, we already got a new script.

Today, I know just from one HALF DAY of rehearsal, there was two pages of prop notes.

*stabbystabbystabby*

I think, in the end, it will be a good play.

But right now, eye stabbing.

At least we have a carpenter *crosses fingers* for the most difficult part of the set.

Otherwise I'm going to have to make it myself. :|

*stabbystabbystabby*

And with that, I'm going to have my nice healthy dinner of poached salmon and beans.

Mmmm....fiiiish...

.

Rosie.

Before&After