I feel like someone has kicked me in the uteri, or someone is scraping out the interior with a fork.

I have much to do. Not really, but it feels like it.

I have to make lunch for tomorrow. I don't want to spend money on eating out, except occasionally as a treat.

I bought great sandwich things: good dark bread, rosemary ham, garden tomatoes, romaine lettuce, marble cheese.

People tease me for liking marble cheese, but SCREW Y'ALL. I like marble cheese and Grease 2, so y'all can shove it where the sun don't shine.

I also have to send out an invoice. I get lazy about invoices, because I don't do them much. The cheque is coming from so far away it feels unreal.

Anyway.

I looked in my Little Pink Book of Work today and realized I have the next three weeks booked, six days a week.

It made my pretty little heart sing.

~

"Who was that guy at your party?" Tyne asked as I held open the garbage bag. One of the other techs stuffed degrading foam and old plastic into it, shedding sawdust and making me squint my eyes.

"Who do you mean?" There were a lot of guys at my party.

"You know," she says with a sly look. "The blond one with the piercings."

I look into my brain, trying to think of who she's talking about. I remember people by their mannerisms and facial tics, not by their piercings or hair colour or faces.

"Wearing camo pants..." she prompts.

"Ah!" I say. "That's ****."

One of my lovers, though it's been a while.

"He's totally into you," she says, grinning. "He was following you around like a puppy dog."

It was my turn to smile slyly. I hadn't noticed, admittedly, but if she noticed, she's probably right.

"Ach," I say dismissively. "He's got a girlfriend." I don't mention he's poly-amorous.

"Yeah, well, what ever," she says with a snort. "He's totally in love with you."

I will have to look closer next time. I did not notice.

He was the last to leave, and lingered to lay on my leaf green sheets, laughing about who-knows-what.

I walked him to the door, finally, when the clock struck two. He slipped on his shoes and then turned, looking down on me for once.

The bend was slow, precise, the kiss a closed mouth one, though very slightly moist.

A hand on my hair, gentle, but the roughness of his palms catching in the fine silky strands, and then a second kiss, on my forehead.

Then he was gone, and not long after, I was asleep.

I smile at Tyne, shrug, and elbow the opening of the garbage bag wider.

~

"Anyone want to talk to G?" I ask, holding my ringing phone up to the table at large. Some people laugh, some people blink in confusion.

"No one?" I say, and when no one responds with affirmative, I shrug and tuck the vibrating machine back into my pocket.

James laughs. "Honeymoon's over, huh?"

I grin and shrug. "It's rude to answer your phone in front of other people."

"So what about all those times you answered the phone while we were driving places?!" cries James, pretending an affront, though I'm not entirely sure it's pretending.

"Hey!" says Nerissa. "Road trips are different!"

Everyone laughs, though I worry, because that's what I do.

.

Rosie.

Before&After